Poor Dave is Dying.

Dave has had a rough few months, black lung, white finger, changeitis.
But this is nothing compared to his latest illness

'It's really knocked me for six, Kris'

Upon enquiry of his symptoms, Simps had covered all the wickets. In fact it sounded like he was reading a list (he probably has one posted on his wall - covering all diseases, causes and symptoms) Though somehow managed to err when it came to keeping his toothbrush safe from the GERMS in the Dirtmeister's flat. He usually has a toothbrush sanitizing protective device but this was misplaced and he used clingfilm instead. I'm no expert on the Germs but I think that would make for better conditions to multiply.

'Climbing the stairs nearly killed me'

Poor Dave has said this to not just myself but to Josh and Aimpots. But I believe him, he's not one to exaggerate.

Cold sweats, the shakes, diarrhea, vomiting, full body muscle spasms, confusion, dazed, stomach cramps, lethargic, bad-AIDS like symptoms........and more.

Sounds serious Dave, do you ken what it could be?
Hypochondria...