Jess has to be mentioned, she is the one that got away. Forever leaving Baz with deep emotional scars.A demanding girl from Detroit who entered Barrys life at the start of his university sojurn. This seemingly chance encounter occured when Baz resided in Grant House, University of Edinburgh. Despite her physical resemblence to both Kanu (pictured) and Wurzel Gummidge(also pictured) Barry was often heard to utter the immortal phrase 'Jess is a goddess'. Barry was principally attracted to her odour; this was known to be very fishlike.
Jess was rumoured to be the unfortunate creature who deflowered our hero. This, as I hope you can imagine was a stinky and nefarious affair but it did cause much mirth. The plot thickens with the myth of the unsighted, although often mentioned, Amy. An army brat like Barry she has a claim on Barry's virginity.
by R. Mutt
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